Unit 4: Fundamentals of Academic Essay Writing
24 Writing a Thesis Statement
Preview Questions:
- What is a thesis statement? How does a thesis statement help you when writing an essay?
- What are some characteristics of a good thesis statement?
- What are some common problems with thesis statements?
- Is it OK to change your thesis statement as you develop your essay?
A thesis statement is usually one sentence long (though you may see longer thesis statements in ESL 118). Think of a thesis statement as a type of “map” which tells the reader where your essay will “go” and what the reader can expect.
Characteristics of an effective thesis statement
- It includes the topic and focus. The thesis statement answers your research question.
- It includes an overview of your supporting points. These points are logically connected to your focus.
- It is not too long or too short; it provides sufficient information.
- A good thesis statement is written in formal, academic style, with appropriate and correct vocabulary and grammar. A good thesis statement is clear.
1 Topic and Focus
The thesis statement is a concise answer to your Research Question. It states the topic of your essay and expresses the focus.
Example:
- topic: social media addiction
- focus: why young people become addicted (causes)
- thesis: Young people become addicted to social media because their brain chemistry puts them at risk for addiction, they need personal validation, and they are afraid of being left out.
2 Overview of Supporting Points
Your thesis statement should include a list of your supporting points. This overview shows the reader what you will write about and how those ideas will be organized. The example below illustrates the relationship between the rough outline, supporting points, and thesis statement.
Example:
- research question: What are the effects of smart phone addiction?
- focus: Effects
- answers to RQ:
- Back and neck pain
- Shorter attention span
- Damage to eyesight from blue light
- Disrupted sleep
- Source of anxiety and stress
- thesis statement: Smart phone addiction can lead to an increase in anxiety and stress, a decrease in attention span, and physical problems like back and neck pain.
Notice that the writer did not use all five “answers” to their research question, but instead selected the three most important points. In addition, the writer has ordered the points so that there is a logical flow from what the reader perceives to be the most important point to less important point.
3 Provides sufficient information
Express the supporting points as single words or short phrases, but avoid expressing the supporting points as full sentences.
| Thesis Statement | Analysis |
| International students face many challenges. | Missing supporting points. |
| The most critical challenges that international students face include culture shock and language barriers, consequently leading to stress. | Acceptable |
| To this extent, the most critical challenges that international students face include experiencing culture shock in and out of the classroom and overcoming language barriers in their daily life, consequently leading to stress and anxiety. | Acceptable |
| To this extent, the most critical challenges that international students face include experiencing culture shock in and out of the classroom, blocking their academic achievement, along with encountering language barriers in their daily life, and having to deal with the mental and physical effects of increased stress and anxiety as a result of all of these problems. | Contains too much information |
4 Uses academic style
In academic writing, a thesis statement is expressed using formal, academic writing style. Refer to Writing Academic Tips as a reminder of what this means.
| In a nutshell, I’m going to explain three ways U.S. colleges have tried to make international students feel more comfortable, like having peer advising things, giving them lots of academic resources, and helping them figure out new expectations. | Informal language; appropriate for speaking (e.g. giving presentations). |
| Therefore, in the following essay, I will outline three reasons U.S. colleges have strived to accommodate international students: they include offering professional and peer advising and mentoring, providing ample academic and activity resources, and helping students meet new academic culture expectations. | Formal language, but avoid using “I” in assignments for this course; may be appropriate for assignments in other courses. |
| Therefore, U.S. colleges have strived to accommodate international students by offering professional and peer advising and mentoring, providing ample academic and activity resources, and helping students meet new academic culture expectations. | Appropriate for assignments in this course. |
5 Uses precise vocabulary
An effective thesis statement will use accurate, appropriate vocabulary. Choose the correct vocabulary to express your focus by consulting a dictionary and thesaurus. Use a corpus for checking collocations (like Skell Sketch Engine).
6 Supporting points are grammatically parallel
The supporting points should be grammatically parallel. This means each point should be expressed using the same grammatical structure. See the examples below:
- An effective Academic ESL Program is based on three components: qualified instructors, an appropriate curriculum, and support from the university.
- Notice how each supporting point is expressed as a noun phrase.
- To develop a successful STEM program, a university must undergo strict regulations beginning with formulating program goals, developing courses, and hiring faculty.
- Notice how each supporting point is expressed as a verb + ing phrase.
- The use of laptops should be allowed in the classroom because they facilitate faster note-taking, promote better organization of information, and provide access to supplemental information.
- Notice how each supporting point is expressed as a short clause.
7 Should express a logical relationship among points whenever possible
When there are connections between points, determine the type of relationship between your points (e.g. cause-effect, sequence). Then include language to demonstrate the connections to your reader.
- To this extent, the most critical challenges that international students face include experiencing culture shock in and out of the classroom, overcoming language barriers in their daily life, and dealing with stress and anxiety.
In the revision, the writer expresses a cause – effect relationship:
- To this extent, the most critical challenges that international students face include experiencing culture shock in and out of the classroom and overcoming language barriers in their daily life, consequently leading to stress and anxiety.
- Therefore, U.S. colleges have strived to accommodate international students by offering professional and peer advising and mentoring, providing ample academic and activity resources, and helping students meet new academic culture expectations.
In the revision, the writer expresses a cause – effect relationship:
- Therefore, U.S. colleges have strived to accommodate international students by offering professional and peer advising and mentoring, along with ample academic and activity resources, ultimately helping students meet new academic culture expectations.
Example 3: This writer has expressed a process along with a cause-effect relationship:
- Universities should combine synchronous and asynchronous techniques to optimize students’ online learning that offers accessible, interactive, and flexible education while keeping up with technology.
Example 4: This writer has expressed a cause – effect relationship:
- Universities should blend synchronous and asynchronous learning, for the purpose of combining their advantages to offer greater flexibility and efficiency in student learning, ultimately leading to improved learning effectiveness.
Example 5: This writer has expressed a cause – effect relationship:
- Online classes in higher education institutions should combine different modes of studying and be more affordable, both of which make education increasingly accessible and inclusive for students worldwide.
Problems with thesis statements
Keep the criteria above in mind to avoid these problems:
- A lack of focus
- A lack of supporting points
- Supporting points are not logically connected to the focus
- Contains too much information
- Use inappropriate, imprecise, or ungrammatical language
- Supporting points are not expressed using parallel (similar) grammar
A collocation consists of 2 or more words that are often used together. For example, we say, "bake a cake," not "cook a cake." "Bake" and "cake" collocate; that is, they "go together."
